My baby! I woke up this morning with this weird thought. I've been hanging out with my friend, Jamie, and just watching her with her little ones led me down this thought process ending at - I am going to have my own baby.
I woke up this morning thinking, "I have never held a brand new baby before." I think the newest baby I have held was a day old. Maybe that young. I have tons of nieces and nephews (including a nephew that is just 2 weeks old!) and I have held most of them in the hospital, so they were pretty new, but I realized I have never held - or even seen a baby that was just born (except on tv, but that doesn't count because we all know that's not real). Maybe from pictures of my friends' kids on facebook, but never held one in my arms. Which led me to the thought, "I'm going to be holding my baby." In all the years of being an aunt - I think I have become really good with kids and I love them. No matter how close I have felt to them and feeling like they belong to me somehow, they have never been my child. I have been a step-mom for over 3 years now, and I realized, that yes, I am a mother to my kids - I claim them as my own, I have never been a mother. It's just a really cool thought. I have never brought a newborn home from the hospital. I have never woken up night after night to nurse a baby and change their diaper (though there was a time when I was a teenager that I watched Alyssa for a few nights when she was 9 months old). I am entering into a new stage of life - one that will never go away. I will always be a mother. I might not always be a new mother, but I will always be a mother. Not only am I entering into a new stage of life, but I am entering into it with my eternal companion.
I love life!
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