Baking a Baby...

The other day, I was exhausted by 5:30, and we still had a cub scout pack meeting to go to and hanging out at the Gilson's. I told Brian as we were getting ready to go I said, "I'll tell ya, making a baby sure is tiring..." he said, "Making a baby? no, that's not tiring, that's fun... You're baking a baby"

So this morning I was still in bed around 8:30 when Brian was leaving for work, and he said something like, "Don't you think its time to get up and start the day." I said, "I'm baking!"

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My appointment went well yesterday. I like most of the people at the OBGYN's office. One of the front girls is kinda rude, more like just short with you, like she is too busy to take the time... maybe that's just my first and second impression of her. I like everyone else, they are sweet and will take the time to answer your questions. I like Jessica, my practitioner. She spent a lot of time with me to help me understand stuff even though I couldn't make it to the New Beginnings class that you are suppose to go to before your first appointment. (I couldn't make it because Elijah was receiving his bear in scouts!)

They gave me a packet with a big book that goes from month to month and then labor, delivery, postpartum, and covers special conditions in pregnancy. It is a really helpful book. Its kind of like "What to expect when you're expecting" but better.

Because of my irregular cycle last month, I get to go have an ultrasound next Friday so we can find out how far a long I am. I am pretty sure I am 6 weeks around today, but just in case. They said by next friday we should be able to see the heartbeat. FUN!

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I smoothed things over with Quianna yesterday. The only thing she ended up hearing was "I took a test" and "the kids don't know yet" so I was able to say that I took a test to make sure my body was ready to get pregnant. She said, "So you're pregnant" and I said, "I never said that" and her smile totally dropped and she said, "Well that's a big disappointment... a very big disappointment!"

none the less we ended up telling Brian's immediate family. We figured since my sisters and mom knew, we should tell them. We were trying to keep it a secret a little while longer, but it's ok. I am kinda glad that our families know because if something does happen we will have a big support system to help us through.

I think we might end up telling the kids sooner than Father's Day. I feel weird having all of our families know except for them. They need to know soon, I just want to figure out a fun way to do it.

I goofed

So my sister called yesterday and asked me about this blog. I tried to deny it because I thought it was secret. Apparently there's still one place where people can see that you have this blog even if you mark that you don't want to see it on the list.

So I was excited to finally talk to someone about me being pregnant but I had 45 min to make dinner and get our family to Elijah's pack meeting so I was in the kitchen talking to her. I was pretty sure Quianna was taking a shower and Elijah was in his room reading, so I figured it would be ok to talk as long as I wasn't so blatant about things. Apparently I was wrong because Quianna wasn't in the shower, she was in her room and Elijah was in the shower an as soon as she heard, "the kids don't know yet, we are telling them on fathers day," she ran downstairs where Brian was taking a nap and said, "I know! I know!" I don't know all I heard I don't know if I can back track from it. However I don't. want to look back and think about this time and remember telling lies to the kids, I want to remember that when Quianna found out, she couldn't contain her excitement that she spilled her juice while filling up her cup at dinner. She was a complete clutz at dinner and it is fun to look back at.

Anyway, Brian wants me to talk to Quianna to find out what she knows, but I'm nervous because I am so much better at being honest than thinking on my feet.

A Daunting Task

Ok, so before I got pregnant, I knew I would have to be in good control of my blood sugar - kind of "It's my duty" so to speak, but today through out the last few days since I have known I'm pregnant, I have developed a sense of ownership and realization that I create the environment my baby is growing in and I need to control it better. This last week I have been looking at my blood sugar and I have had a high incident each day. Yes that's frustrating, so today I decided that I was going to be really good at making sure I let the insulin kick in before I ate something and making sure I always knew where I was.

Well for some reason I have been high all day long, and I don't know how to bring it down. I have had the following to eat to day:

• 5 ritz crackers
• 1/3 apple
• 2 string cheeses
• 10 carrots and some ranch dip

I am starving... and its not because I don't want to wait for my insulin to kick in, its because my sugars wont go down. So now I am tossed because I either eat and make my blood sugar stay high, or starve myself, which is also starving my baby. 

I am caught between two worlds, I need to make sure my sugars are controlled, or else I'm harming my baby, but I also need to make sure I am eating, or else I am starving my baby. I just the best for my baby and for me. It is a very daunting task and I don't know if I am up for the task.

Telling people

I was telling Brian that I want to tell a friend of mine because I need someone that I could get really excited with so I can feel the excitement. I worry that if I wait SO long to tell people, I'll loose the "new" factor in my excitement. On the other hand, I don't want to get it over with right away and not have the excitement last.

Anyway, when I told Brian that I needed someone to be excited he said, "You can be excited with me" and I said, "Are you excited? Because I thought you were getting tired of it" which he replied to with "yes I'm excited!" so I said, "Ok... We're having a baby!" In a excited girly voice to which he flapped his hands in a very girly manner and said, "Oh!... yay!"  It was fun.

My nausea comes and goes. I get sick when I'm hungry and after I eat. Brian suggested and I was thinking of it too, that I should be eating in frequent smaller amounts. I'm giving it a shot. This morning before I got out of bed I ate a couple of crackers to help with the hungriness. That seems to help as I am getting my day going.

The tough part about eating frequently is I have to remember to give myself insulin 15 minutes before I eat, which means I really need to be thinking about when I will eat.


Brian was really wonderful yesterday. I went into the kitchen to start boiling water for the kids mac and cheese, and then I came back into the living room. A little after the timer went off for the noodles and I still hadn't got up from the couch I said, "I have no motivation to do anything" so he asked me what needed to be done for dinner and he did it. He also put the kids to work in cleaning the kitchen. It gave me hope that we can get through this pregnancy. I just need to not abuse the privilege :-)

a sesame seed...

Well, day two of knowing I'm pregnant. I have been having cramps - I read that's normal, but its funny because the last whole last week I thought I was going to start my cycle because I was having cramps, and I thought that was strange because I don't think I ever had cramps before I started.

I have also been nauseated. I keep wondering if it is in my head because it just started today which was after I found out, but then I remember Sunday I woke up feeling sick. I wrote it off because that happens sometimes if my blood sugar goes off in the night. Anyway, I keep trying to talk myself out of it because I don't want to be sick, and I don't want Brian to think that it is in my head now that I know I'm pregnant.


Apparently, I am in my 5th week today so my baby is around the size of a sesame seed. I have a couple of apps on my iPod touch to walk me through this... it's been fun. :-) Sometimes I think, "well, no turning back now!" that's right after I think, "This is really happening, we are having a baby!"

I am getting more tired. I just have less energy to do stuff. It would explain earlier this week when I had a really hard time getting started on tasks.

Today I talked to the baby. (side note: everytime I think of the baby I think of it as a boy, but I wonder if it is a girl because I have been leaning towards purple things lately) I had a broccoi, ham and cheese scrambled egg and one piece of toast for breakfast, but apparently something had gone wrong because when I got out of my Bryant Tec meeting today my blood sugar was over 300. I felt really bad because I realized that I should have checked my blood sugar sooner and I imagined this organism submersed in a sugary substance trying to develop in a soffocating syrup. So then I said, "Oh no! I'm so sorry baby!"

Anyway, I am exhausted, but I have one more thing to say. Last weekend at the McCann's I had mentioned having little kids around because we were discussing a dog, and the new house having more room to expand our family easier. Every time I mentioned it, it would sound like we knew we were actually expecting, but we didn't. So now I wonder if when I announce this to my in-laws they are going to look back at this weekend and think, "I knew it!" and then we come back and say, "We didn't." Just thoughts...

two lines mean what?

In the last week I have taken 3 pregnancy tests - All negative until the last one. When I dipped that stick in the cup (btw, I'm getting really good at peeing in a cup now), I prayed to Heavenly Father for it to be positive. I didn't want to be waiting for a period that seemed like it would never happen. I also didn't want to call up the OBGYN's office saying... "Um, I have had an irregular period that last couple months, and I am late by... I think a week?  What I do know is I'm on cycle day 43, and I have had 3 negative pregnancy tests." So today on my third test, I was asking Heavenly Father to make it positive. (I know I should have asked for his will to be done, but I think he knew what I meant)

I started the stopwatch on my ipod and dipped the stick in the cup. Then I waited... I usually just lay there thinking, "If it's positive, how am I going to tell Brian? How is he going to react? What's life going to be like?" yadayadayada... Then I see it is almost time and so I recheck how to read the results.

This morning I passed the time by googling "missed period, false pregnancy test" to figure out when I should be worried and call the OBGYN. I got so carried away in finding answers, I had forgotten to recheck how to read the result.

This time I looked at the watch, saw it was time, picked up the stick and saw a second line. My thought process was this... "two lines? Wait, I have never seen that line before, what does it mean again?" I checked the key right next to the window (they are so smart for putting that there) and looked at the not pregnant which was one line, so then I looked above that and saw two lines means pregnant. My next thought was "there isn't a 'not' before it" Then a smile came to my face. I was not not pregnant. :-) That was really my first thought, "not not pregnant" Then a weird thought popped into my head, "hey there little guy". There was something actually growing in me. For the past few weeks I had only acknowledged it with a "if" but now it was definite.

I am not not pregnant. :-)