two lines mean what?

In the last week I have taken 3 pregnancy tests - All negative until the last one. When I dipped that stick in the cup (btw, I'm getting really good at peeing in a cup now), I prayed to Heavenly Father for it to be positive. I didn't want to be waiting for a period that seemed like it would never happen. I also didn't want to call up the OBGYN's office saying... "Um, I have had an irregular period that last couple months, and I am late by... I think a week?  What I do know is I'm on cycle day 43, and I have had 3 negative pregnancy tests." So today on my third test, I was asking Heavenly Father to make it positive. (I know I should have asked for his will to be done, but I think he knew what I meant)

I started the stopwatch on my ipod and dipped the stick in the cup. Then I waited... I usually just lay there thinking, "If it's positive, how am I going to tell Brian? How is he going to react? What's life going to be like?" yadayadayada... Then I see it is almost time and so I recheck how to read the results.

This morning I passed the time by googling "missed period, false pregnancy test" to figure out when I should be worried and call the OBGYN. I got so carried away in finding answers, I had forgotten to recheck how to read the result.

This time I looked at the watch, saw it was time, picked up the stick and saw a second line. My thought process was this... "two lines? Wait, I have never seen that line before, what does it mean again?" I checked the key right next to the window (they are so smart for putting that there) and looked at the not pregnant which was one line, so then I looked above that and saw two lines means pregnant. My next thought was "there isn't a 'not' before it" Then a smile came to my face. I was not not pregnant. :-) That was really my first thought, "not not pregnant" Then a weird thought popped into my head, "hey there little guy". There was something actually growing in me. For the past few weeks I had only acknowledged it with a "if" but now it was definite.

I am not not pregnant. :-)